The Secret of Effortless Sleep — Part Two: Shifting from Control Mode to Experiential Mode
The Secret
In a previous article, you I shared the secret of falling asleep. In case you weren’t there, here it is:
Letting go of control
Learning to let go of control is what enables you to have the delicious experience of lying down at night, easing your head onto the pillow, and feeling your body, mind and emotions gradually relax and soften as you gently drift into a deep and restorative sleep. On a regular basis.
That probably sounds appealing, but if you’ve been struggling with sleep for any length of time you may, understandably, be skeptical that it’s something you could really experience. Maybe on a rare occasion — but as a new normal — highly doubtful.
You may also be wondering how it could be possible to get yourself to let go of control. Isn’t “trying” to let go of control just another form of control?
Well, that’s an excellent question — and you’re be so right — it would indeed be another form of control. But here’s the thing — thanks to the way our brain is wired, there’s another way of going about learning to let go of control that’s gentle, pleasurable, and — most importantly, effective!
Living in Control Mode
Before I tell you about that, I’ll just review the three ways I described in previous articles that our control mode shows up during the day. Here they are:
Mind Wandering Mode in which our mind is jumping all over the place in search of pleasure and the avoidance of pain
Control Mode which has us struggling to stop the mind from wandering and focus our attention long enough to get something done
Escape Mode which is all the things we do to try to escape from the strain and stress of trying and, for the most part, failing to control our mind — you know, the usual suspects — TV, eating, shopping, drinking, taking drugs, having sex, etc., etc.
An Alternative
So what’s the alternative to control mode?
Jan (my wife and course co-creator) call it “experiential mode” because it’s about being fully immersed in whatever you’re experiencing in the moment — not resisting it, not trying to manipulate it, and not trying to escape from it. It’s what you may know as “being in the zone” or “being in flow.”
Most likely you’ve experienced this at various times throughout your life — times when you were thoroughly enjoying and fully immersed in whatever it was you were doing. For many it comes with being absorbed in the beauty and serenity of a natural setting, being fully engaged in the intensity of a team sport, the joy of playing music, dancing, reading something inspiring, or in those moments of being fully present with a person or animal you feel deeply connected to.
The thing about any of these experiences is they seem to just “happen,” without any doing or choice on your part. They tend to leave us with a sense of well-being and gladness to be alive — but also a kind of wistfulness, a longing for it to be a more available, more stable experience.
Shifting from Control to Experiential Mode
So here we are, back to the question of how — how to get the heck out of control mode and into experiential mode.
In the video below I’ll tell you about one of the most basic practices for doing just that.
I hope you will enjoy and find these articles on effortless sleep beneficial. But please keep in mind that the practices like effortless breathing, effortless relaxation, effortless mindfulness and Yoga Nidra — although wonderful on their own — become far more effective and powerful when they are part of a structured program that has been specially designed to support you in developing your natural capacity to shift from control mode to experiential mode . . . and from that state of ease, calm and contentment, to drift effortlessly into a deeply restorative sleep.
In “From Restless Nights to Effortless Sleep,” Jan and I have integrated the three modalities that extensive research has shown to be the most highly effective for curing insomnia, improving the depth and quality of sleep, and providing more energy throughout the day. They are:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)
Effortless Mindfulness
Yoga Nidra (Non-Sleep Deep Rest)
In addition to the effectiveness of these modalities, I will be there every day in the Sleep Course-Community Conversation Lounge to answer your questions and help you tailor the practices to your individual needs. And equally, or perhaps even more importantly, you will have a supportive community of fellow learners to motivate and encourage you along the way.
You can learn more about the online sleep course at our website: www.RememberToBe.Life